Being happy is the goal of all human beings. Nobody likes to suffer but want to feel good, this means that being happy is part of our nature.
There are two different kinds of happiness.
One mainly comes from physical comfort and the other one comes from mental thoughts. Between these two, the mental is much more superior.
If your mind is calm and happy, then small physical discomforts or small pains can be overcome easily, on the other hand, if your mind is agitated and in a state of restlessness you can have the greatest comfort of the world but you will be unhappy.
So, mental experiences are more important than physical experiences. When we speak of experiences, we speak of the feelings of the mind.
Budha said once “There is no path to happiness, happiness is the path”.
You can seek for happiness all your life long but you will never find a final destiny, happiness is built by your day by day with small things and small moments.
Time passes and when you reach the end you have the feeling that you haven’t lived a full life because you spent all of your time thinking about the past or the future, forgetting to live present experiences, the moment of now.
You must change the way you think, focusing your mind on what you want instead of what you don’t want, why?
Because your thought create your emotions and your emotions will create your state of mind. If you have positive thought you will create a positiveness and well-being.
So, focus on what you like instead of what you don’t like because what you think it’s exactly what happens in your life. It’s one of the laws of the power of thinking, the power of the mind.
Normally when you feel unhappy, you look for external factors to make you feel good again, this can work for a few minutes or even hours but will always end up with an emptiness feeling, and then you will look again for something else.
What I want to show you is that jumping from thing to thing searching for well-being will not bring you lasting true happiness.
Everything that exists in this life, constantly changes – the human being, the mood, your friends, your physical and mental health – Recognize the impermanent characteristic of the world and accept them, don’t resist. Let it go.
Being happy is not jumping of happiness all day long. Being happy is much simpler than that. There are several ways to be more happy with your life and I would say that the first thing is “appreciation”. Appreciate what you have.
You already have so many things that maybe the most of the people don’t have, feel gratitude for all of that.
Feel gratitude for what you have.
Feel gratitude for what you feel in your life.
Feel gratitude for what you receive.
Gratitude is one of the most powerful ways of thinking to create happiness.
When you feel bad, ask yourself “why am I unhappy?
Most of the time you will found that there is not a real reason or that the reason is insignificant.
There are people who say: today I can not be happy because I feel sick, because I have no money, because it is very hot, because someone insulted me, because someone stopped loving me or because my job is mediocre and so on.
You determine what makes you happy in every situation and every moment of your life. It depends on how you react to the things that happen to you.
If your happiness depends on some person or thing or circumstance on the face of the Earth, you would be in a very fragile and unstable situation.
Tony Robbins said: “Happiness is when you trade your expectations for appreciations and let go your fears.”
Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
If you have a pain, it causes suffering and you can’t do anything besides waiting or taking medications, but if you suffer because you feel sorry for yourself it is optional, you can stop this pain whenever you want.
In life, 10% is what happens to you and 90% it’s how you react to it.
Do not forget that most of the times, you have control of your own happiness, it’s you who decide whether you’re happy or not.
Happiness is within in all of us and does not come from the outside. Exterior things can activate happiness but don’t bring anything and it is up to you to decide if you want to be happy or not, but how?
16 tricks to boost your well-being
Of course, being happy comes from your inside and there is no magic formula for it but there are techniques that can help you reach that state quickly. Here, I leave you some tips:
1. Meditate. Sit and relax, focus on the breath and be mindful of the present moment.
Take a deep breath and don’t follow your thoughts, simply observe them.
The mind can only do one thing at a time. If you don’t feel well, relax and accept your thoughts. By doing that you will automatically change your state of mind.
You can train your mind. Whatever you do, it will change your brain, if you learn to dive, play piano or to ski your brain will change. Likewise, if you train your focused attention, if you train to be more compassionate, your brain will change, you will become a different person. All those skills can be trained.
What you think and say will create emotions. Most of the time you certainly have negative self-talk about yourself and others and that, create negative emotions, and these negative emotions make you unhappy and frustrated.
Meditation will refresh your mind and will “clean” it.
Take deep breaths and practice love and compassion.
2. Fake it till you make it. To become happier, start representing like an actor, force you to do things like to be good, to think positively, dancing, smiling, being social, laughing out loud etc.
The more you pretend to be a thing, with time you will become the thing.
Fake to be happy or to be confident and with time you will truly be.
3. Gratitude. It is important to cultivate gratitude. A research shows that gratitude increases happiness and reduces stress and anxiety.
4. Have goals in life in the short and long term. Give direction to your life to not be like a drifting boat. One study has shown that active people who have occupations, goals and a social life tend to live longer and happier.
5. Don’t focus only on material things. People who are only focused on material goods, tend to be more emphatic and disconcerted with the world than the people who give more importance to positive relationships, family, and people.
This does not mean that it is bad to have material goods, enjoy them but do not let them be your only source of happiness.
6. Go to meet nature. Studies have shown that being in contact with beautiful landscapes such like mountains, rivers, beaches, a beautiful monument or picture promotes happiness and well-being.
Every time you meet these elements, all your energy is reactivated with joy and peace that will invade your body and mind.
7. Feel compassion for others’ hardships. The first step to help others is to feel compassion about their situations. Putting yourself in others’ shoes is a key part of happiness.
Then, it will be easier to volunteer, give food or goods to those who need it and so on.
8. Stop Worrying. Live life and stop worrying. Simply stop and ask yourself what’s the worst thing that can happen? Every day someone in this world is going through much bigger problems than yours – death, illness, hunger – but you screw up your life with little insidious things.
Your brain is constantly magnifying the problems with doubts and negative thoughts, once we realize that we can stop and neutralize these thoughts we will live much happier.
When you are worried about things, ask yourself these 3 questions:
- Why I’m worried, is it worth it?
- What are the worst things that can happen?
- If you can do something to solve the problem, then solve it, if you can not, then, accept and live with it. Being worried will not solve anything.
9. Travel and get out of your comfort zone. You are rich, and you grow richer every day. I’m not talking about money or things, but rather experiences which can be considered the true measure of wealth: in other words, a well-lived life. Every time you discover something new about life (a new food, a new idea, a new perspective, new music, a new culture, etc.) you broaden your horizons and enrich yourself. You become more interesting with each new experience.
10. Be good to you. Do not be so hard by blaming yourself all the time.
Recognize that you made a bad decision and learn from it, it happens to all of us.
If you believe that you are good, you will feel much better and then, you won’t hesitate to take a job that puts you out of your comfort zone, or you won’t hesitate to ask for a raise and so on.
11. Do not offer resistance. When you offer resistance to changes, your are creating a mental block, an inner tension, and bad feelings. Things will only get worse, you sleep badly, get grumpy, create digestive problems etc.
Next time something bad happens to you, list the benefits you get from the experience. Maybe you will discover what truly matters in your life, who your real friends are or an inner strength in you.
This simple exercise will make you feel happier and less stressed, just ask yourself “How can I benefit from the experience?”.
12. Embrace your fears. Fear is natural and it never goes away, but you can learn to manage it.
You have much more control over your brain chemistry than you might think.
Boosting your brain’s natural opioids is the best way to treat disabling emotions of fear and anxiety. Some studies say that the fear is mostly controlled by neural circuits present in the amygdala, which is your brain’s “stress center.”
Some fears are instinctive like the fear of heights but most of them are entirely due to negative thoughts that end up creating emotional responses.
Opioids naturally occur in the brain, including “enkephalin” that regulates the formation of fear memories, and the emotional fear response. Low levels of these opioids increase fear, anxiety, and aggressiveness.
Meditation is the best way to boost the brain’s naturally opioids. Let the feelings of fear appear, identify them, and let them pass.
Focus on the sensation of fear. Be okay with it, it’s just an emotion. The trick here is to focus on the fear, not on the thoughts that generate the fear.
This is powerful. If you practice this, you will be okay with feeling fear, and you will realize that fear only has power over you if you let it. It’s just an emotion, it is not a rule that you must obey.
13. Focus on excellence. Instead of searching for perfection in everything you do, simply do your best. If your best didn’t produce what you were expecting, you’ll still have the satisfaction of giving your best and you just need to identify what needs to be improved for the next time.
14. Do not try to change people. What is easier? Changing your point of view or changing the point of view of a hundred people?
You can not change people. Change yourself. Adapt yourself and be tolerant. Most of the people are not bad, they do and say bad things because they are suffering from something.
If you change yourself, you change the way to see people.
If you have a problem and you can solve it, solve it, but if you can’t, then, accept it.
15. Make others feel important. If you’re arriving at a party or an event and someone is waiting for you, instead of saying “I’m here!”, try by saying “There you are!”. Put the emphasis on them, because they are the one you want to see!
16. Give to others. There are over 1 billion adults who suffer from anxiety, depression and conduct disorders. So, how to go from anxiety and depression to happiness?
Give to others.
Whatever it is: a smile, your time, kindness, material things that someone might need, etc.
I’m sure you’ve already heard that giving makes you happy and it’s better to give than receive, but you know why? When you give, your endorphins raise up and give you a natural sensation of well-being, that is serotonin a happy body’s transmitter and your cortisol (stress hormone) levels drop. Giving reduce our stress hormone and make us happy.
The best method to put all of these steps into practice is to focus first on the point that for you is the most difficult and to train for 1 or 2 weeks every day and then move on to the next one and so on until you master all the tricks. Practice little and often, it’s better than longer but time to time.
For example, if meditating for you is very difficult, then start by meditating every day for about 10 minutes and increase the duration bit by bit until you can meditate 30 minutes a day and then move on to next trick.